Covid19: Doctor’s Testicles On Fire!

For most men, the pain of being hit on the testicles is agonizing, excruciating, and tormenting, to say the least. What if you felt like that consistently for a number of days? You know, like continuously being castrated…day in day out?

That’s how my life has been over the last couple of days… only to discover that Covid19 has everything to do with it.

It all started on Monday evening this week and felt a few chills, generalized weakness, and a few joint pains. Now, during the lockdown, I’ve taken up my old college hobby of playing basketball and have put a hoop outside my garage for one-on-one play with my son. On Sunday, I overdid it! I spent over two and half hours pushing myself albeit my arthritic knees (which might need replacement soon!) My rationale for the initial symptoms was that I was just recovering from over-stretching my physical fitness and would recover in a day or so.

Tuesday, I woke up with general malaise, chills, and excruciating testicular pain. I didn’t suppose this had anything to do with my wife (hahaha), but given the accompanying symptoms, I knew something was not right.

Symptoms

Most people with Covid19 are asymptomatic and don’t necessarily demonstrate any symptoms of flu. However, those that are symptomatic, the range of presentation may differ and vary from person to person.

I started with chills and testicular pain. This was unbelievably painful and not sure whether my walking style gave away my symptoms… especially to my fellow colleagues who tend to observe and make a diagnosis from 5 miles away!

Then came the cough later on Tuesday. Dry hearty cough that follows you to the worst of situations. Coughing during the Covid19 lockdown is almost analogous to walking around with poop all over your face! The look from the public, the response, and stigma are written all over everyone’s face. But you cannot avoid it… there’s absolutely no way of controlling it.

Then came the body aches. Muscle pain and joint pain are so characteristic. I felt like someone who has run a marathon without ever having ever trained for it. Going up a flight of stairs is a hustle and straining to the muscles.

The pain comes with insomnia (lack of sleep), nightmares and generalized tiredness that keeps me in bed the whole day. For someone running their own business and always keeping busy, this was torture!

I”m glad at this point I have no shortness of breath or heaviness on the chest (at least not yet) which are ominous signs of deterioration in general condition.

Diagnosis

So I decided to have this whole thing tested while working on self-isolation. On Tuesday, I went to Lancet Laboratories where they did a pharyngeal swab albeit waiting in the queue for two hours. Yes, it felt like Home Affairs all over again.  This was rather agonizing! Feeling sick and lining up with Tom, Dick & Harry who are completely asymptomatic but chatting and laughing to kill time. 

Finally, after four days of waiting for the test, I called the lab and confirmed that it was Covid19! Phew! What a relief. Finally, I’m positive that nobody was trying to castrate me! Yipee! 

Treatment

Simple management of symptoms is all it has taken. There’s no proven medication that has been approved for treatment. Chloroquine? Nay! Madagascar juice – Not for me!

Dexamethasone – yes, possibly in an advanced stage with viral pneumonia presenting with shortness of breath, etc.

For now, just the good old pain killers – Brufen, Paracetamol and recently added Tramadol for the testicular visceral pain.

I’ve obviously been on multivitamin supplementation, Vitamin D3 and Probiotics as extra precaution.

What next?

The big question is where and how did I get it? I guess it does not matter now – it’s such a highly infectious virus. I’d been to a funeral the previous week and always go to my local supermarket every Saturday for grocery shopping.

All the same, I do observe common-sense preventative measures including sanitization, wearing a mask, and social distancing… but clearly the virus slipped through and got me! I guess it also has to survive, reproduce, and evolve quickly enough to keep up with human intelligence.

The hard part is the self-isolation within a family setting…with a 6 and 9-year-old who wants to be all over daddy! It’s heartbreaking to just wave goodbye from a distance (once a day they get to see me out of my self-imposed man-cave) when they are so used to hearty hugs and kisses! It would be distressing to see them go through the same agony.

I’ll have to stay here for the next 14 days or so, keep away from daily chores, reflect on my life, business and keep up with long-lost friends!

Lastly, I need prayers! Yes, you heard me right – prayers! If you want me dead in the next few days, please go ahead and pray for me. Prayers have been shown to accelerate progression, worsening of patients’ condition, and increase mortality! Especially in Africa where we have this illusion of a bearded paternalistic omnipresent deity overlooking our daily activities from the sky – I wonder where he’s been all along Covid19! (Sic)